Every morning I am at one with nature as I drink my tea on the back porch. Today the new neighbor two doors down was out on his porch, too. He smoked his first, second and third cigarettes – scaring away the birds, the deer and the squirrels as well as chasing away the crisp, clean smell of evergreens. I channeled my inner Darth Vader and used The Force to explode his head. Then the crows came and ate his brains.
Moral of the story:
Watch out for crows. They’ll eat anything.